I Wouldn’t Be Here If….

Well, there is lots to say and catch up on, which may require more than one post, but I need to get through some things first. For one being grateful for being able to be here, not only in Paris, but also studying abroad again. I could not have asked for a better year, but it is truly these things that I fear the most. I want to eventually become fluent in French at some point in the near future of my life, but the downfall experience that happens for me in the first few days of studying abroad is my own way of second guessing myself. I’m really trying, but there are a lot of emotions, jetlag and self-doubt being mixed into one pot.

I am going to post the typical study abroad pictures where everything seems delectable and the sky is always shining on the Tour Eiffel, but moving into a new home, speaking, reading, writing, and even eating (drinking too) a new language is quite the adjustment and different from my London experiences. Different people, different levels of adjustment and comfortable levels. However, I do have goals and I strongly want to stick to them. That is that. I know that this time for me, and not the French fluency aspect of it, it is truly mind over matter. Running doesn’t hurt either.

I truly would not be here in Paris without my family, they have really stuck it out with me on this one and I am quite aware that this kind of opportunity does not come along often and is quite amazing all at once. Life changingly so. I also have to remind myself that if I was fluent in French, it would be too easy to be here, I know that certain fears and challenges are placed into our lives for a reason. Again, I am not God though and so seeing is much harder than believing it. Not to compare my life to a Disney movie, but that sounds like a line out of “The Santa Clause” with Tim Allen, but in all seriousness, as the director of Housing at my programme said “A closed mind means nothing.” Very true, right?!

As you can tell, I am not a woman of few words or thoughts, so I’m extending those trailing thoughts to another post for the evening! À toute à l’heure!

Who even knows where my sister would find this kind of stuff?


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